Mysterious actor shorts boltzman’s constant for 1.8 trillion space dollars, destabilizing fundamental constant futures market.


 

In a move sure to be recorded in the laser archive, the Boltzmann constant has fallen prey to speculative activity, experiencing a nose dive with no end in sight.  Trouble has already begun to spread through the rest of the fundamental constants sector as a result, with both the fine structure constant and 2 of the Yukawa coupling constants displaying some notable instability as well, troubling developments for the structural integrity of hadronic matter.   

Though the entity behind this act remains unknown, theres no shortage of speculation and rumor.  Entropy & Sons has dispatched reporters to Rectangular Potential Barrier St to investigate.  

"You just have to follow the money.  This has all the classic signs of a move by the underbeing who dwells beneath the cosmos.  He clearly has a vested interest in wreaking havoc on thermodynamically stable life forms, he's made that abundantly clear." - DerivativesBot 4778-J

"It's gotta be that asshole Dave. Shit always goes sideways when he's around."  - Grebulon Zex, managing director at Bain Capital

"You know where they sell Sex Cubes 'round here?"  - Jimmy McNuggins, local pervert

Entropy & Sons will have further updates as this story develops.  


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