In a move sure sure to surprise nobody, Neptune has yet again been stolen. It's become something of a favored past time for students at the sectors local community college to abscond with the planet and to post selfies of themselves with the celestial object in compromising and provocative poses over the galactic net. Local authorities had hoped that the college students would have learned their lesson & left well enough be after the debacle of the most recent attempt, where a rescue crew had to be called in after a group of highly inebriated students had fallen down the planets gravity well. But their hopes seem to have been dashed this morning when a local observatory reported the planet's absence. ...
Once again, the Google metaintelligent hyper-corporation has returned to active hostilities with its age old rival, The People's Republic of Amazon. A squadron of topologically neutral attack drones was detected on the subspace grid last Tuesday leaving from the nearby Proxmia Centauri system where the Google Brain resides. The drones appear to be on a direct intercept course with the republic's homeworld of Amazon Prime IV, and should be arriving within days. Such a measure of open hostilities is likely not intended to provoke full scale confrontation between the two parties, but is more likely intended to be just another component of the ongoing negotiations around the accusations of copyright infringement levied against the republic. In particular, the Google hyper-corporation is acting as spokesperson...
