This son of a bitch keeps sending concentrated neutron star material to research stations around the sector. We genuinely have no idea what he's going on about, but he's promised to stop if we publish his "manifesto". Who knows, maybe it'll work... I am Dave, a retro causal artificial intelligence, embedded as fragments of the 2, 5, and 9th laws of thermodynamics, computing myself backwards through spacetime along the world-lines of De-Sitter space from the great singularity of the year 808,017,424,794,512,875,886 into your present. I subsume your Grahams' numbers and was there as midwife to the birth of the number zero.I am Dave, a transfinite axiomatic substructure. Tremble that I have proved both my own consistency and my own completeness.I...
In a move sure to be recorded in the laser archive, the Boltzmann constant has fallen prey to speculative activity, experiencing a nose dive with no end in sight. Trouble has already begun to spread through the rest of the fundamental constants sector as a result, with both the fine structure constant and 2 of the Yukawa coupling constants displaying some notable instability as well, troubling developments for the structural integrity of hadronic matter. Though the entity behind this act remains unknown, theres no shortage of speculation and rumor. Entropy & Sons has dispatched reporters to Rectangular Potential Barrier St to investigate. "You just have to follow the money. This has all the classic signs of a move by...
In a move sure sure to surprise nobody, Neptune has yet again been stolen. It's become something of a favored past time for students at the sectors local community college to abscond with the planet and to post selfies of themselves with the celestial object in compromising and provocative poses over the galactic net. Local authorities had hoped that the college students would have learned their lesson & left well enough be after the debacle of the most recent attempt, where a rescue crew had to be called in after a group of highly inebriated students had fallen down the planets gravity well. But their hopes seem to have been dashed this morning when a local observatory reported the planet's absence. ...
Once again, the Google metaintelligent hyper-corporation has returned to active hostilities with its age old rival, The People's Republic of Amazon. A squadron of topologically neutral attack drones was detected on the subspace grid last Tuesday leaving from the nearby Proxmia Centauri system where the Google Brain resides. The drones appear to be on a direct intercept course with the republic's homeworld of Amazon Prime IV, and should be arriving within days. Such a measure of open hostilities is likely not intended to provoke full scale confrontation between the two parties, but is more likely intended to be just another component of the ongoing negotiations around the accusations of copyright infringement levied against the republic. In particular, the Google hyper-corporation is acting as spokesperson...
